It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
