Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
