he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
