3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
