I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
