He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
