Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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