can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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