and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
