Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
