fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
