I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just pynch a tree in the face
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
