Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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