and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
