We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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