I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
