Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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