Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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