haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
