She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
