okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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