We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If I die, sorry about rent.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
