Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Cold hands, warm shart.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
