Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
