Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
