i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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