Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
