I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
