I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Randomize
