i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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