so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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