There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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