your parents love me but you hate me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
