from now on my penis is your penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize