It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
