I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
