on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
