halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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