drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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