Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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