i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
