i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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