I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
