The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
