I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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