He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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