A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
