I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
