butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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