you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
