I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
