Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
