? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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