I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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