we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
