Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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