Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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