I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am mentally ready for anal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
