i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
