Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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