my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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