Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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