my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
