yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
