Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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