i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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