All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
